They say life is for living. They say that we only live once. That we need to make the most of our opportunities to live life to the full. So that we can get the most out of each and every day. But how can we do this? I find that a lot of people deliberately sabotage their lives. I get a lot of people coming to me for advice about their life and telling me they are in a miserable marriage or relationship and they ask me things like when will their partner change and be nice. Totally ignoring the fact that their partner has been a pain for twenty years, has no reason to want to change, cannot change even if they want to, and will be forever being a pain in the butt. Their choices are at fault. They need to rethink the choice of being with someone who is a pain in the butt or they need to reconcile themselves to putting up with it. Because expecting someone to change purely because that person does not suit you is ridiculous. Their partner could probably say the same thing about them! It may be that they moan a lot of nag and their partner would love that to stop.

The simple truth is this, many people rush to get married or live with someone and then regret it later. They should think about it more carefully before they do it, not moan about it after.  When you are young you usually get quite a few options of who to settle down with so it would be fairly easy for most to be more picky and choose someone else instead. But where most go wrong is to rush into it because they want a fancy expensive wedding day, or they crave a piece of paper or whatever. No thoughts to how they don’t know this person well enough to marry them or live with them or might change their mind later. Quite stupid really.

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You should apply your brain to these things rather than just think about how nice it would be to get lots of presents or a piece of paper The price you may pay for it may be very high. Not worth it. You should also make sure you have options later. Many women make the mistake of not owning and running a business or having a proper job that brings them in enough to live on and then come running to me because they are having to put up with a boring or nasty husband because he pays the bills. They should have thought of that years before and made sure they had more options. They may have had the choice of having kids or having a job, all choices, you can follow your heart or you can follow common sense sometimes you cannot have both of these things. Because having kids can make you confined to the home and short of money, taking away those options.